What is your surname

Five years ago when I appeared for an interview, the moment I took my seat in the four-legged vintage chair, the first question was shot,

“So, you are Gowtham A R. What does A and R stand for?”

It is well known that surnames represent the family from which we come from. Globally, surnames reflect the region from originating. Yamaguchi is a surname in which ‘yama’ stands for ‘mountain’ and ‘guchi’ for entrance. This signals to the enquirer that you live near the mountains and so he frames an opinion about your ancestry and social behaviour. In some cases, surnames might represent the occupation you are associated with, like ‘Tinker’. In a country like India, beyond these two reasons, the names are also used as an indirect reference to the caste you belong to.

Beyond the issue of what a surname means, there were questions which disturbed my mind: How many civilizations take the name of a woman as their surname? Or all societies so embedded in patriarchy that we never gave women the right?

Photo Courtesy: Geoffrey Fairchild

Irrespective of gender one inherits the father’s as the name and not their mothers. The fact that in most societies, surnames are men’s names is a direct reflection of the fact that women were never paid mutual respect. A deeper issue is a woman changing her surname after marriage. Banglore days, the Malayalam movie had a scene where the bride’s friends chat a few minutes before marriage.

“What is your name now?”, asks her friend

“Divya Prakash” responds the bride.

When he asks again, “After marriage?”

“Divya Das”.

Her friend who gets pissed off says, “Is this transfer of ownership?”

Societies are shaped by the equal contribution from both women and men. Biologically, women nurture the child and experience pain which does not have a parallel in our world. In the first few years of life, which are crucial for the development of the child it is the mother which renders most of the care. If men formed the muscles and nerves of the society woman took the form of bones and nerves. They complement man’s work in every aspect of society’s evolution.

Photo Courtesy: Arentas

To deny them the right to share their name with their children is possibly a misogynist act of the society. It could be the root cause of gender discrimination where the one’s ‘identity’ is known through the name of the ‘man’ and not the ‘woman’. Isn’t erasing one’s ‘identity’ a crime?

Going back to the interview, I told him that they stand for my grandfather’s and my father’s names. Though it was not fair, at least, my sister was given the initials S and R. The ‘S’ stands for my mother’s name.

P.S.: Would like to know whether anyone of you reading this article have your mother’s name as one of your surname or middle name.

Photo Courtesy (External links):

(1)Geoffrey Fairchild

(2)Arentas